If there is one thing about me when it comes to eating food, it’s that I seriously love my face to rain.
For real. You know that scene in Along Came Polly where Ben Stiller and Jen Aniston are sitting on the floor in a restaurant eating spicy food and Ben’s face is like sliding off his head in a river of sweat? I pretty much want whatever he was eating, times 45, right now. I loooooooove heat. I looooooove spice. And since I already have overactive glands, it works out for me!
You’re grossed out right now, aren’t you.
Okay but listen. Today’s meal, this spicy kick in the pants Jalapeno Popper Chicken Chili is seriously going to tai chi your tongue. BUT. You have control of the heat! You do. You can leave out the seeds of the peppers for less heat. Or even use less peppers altogether. You’re like a puppet master, hooohoohaahahahHAHAHA.
Before we get to the recipe, how ’bout a basic lesson in heat ranges in peppers—before you accidentally add something to your food that results in a face volcano, coo?
- On the mildest end of the spectrum we have BELL PEPPERS. Zero heat. They’re even sweet. So, you’re always safe there.
- Then a few notches up the heat scale we have ANAHEIM PEPPERS. They’re still pretty mild, but have a teensy kick. Super teensy.
- Then a few more notches up we have the JALAPENO PEPPERS. As seen in this here popper chili. They’re really not THAT hot, but if you leave the seeds in, your face might rain a little.
- Then we have the SERRANO PEPPER. It’s a little hotter than the jalapeno. Not crazy crazy hot, but hot.
- Now there are few peppers higher on the heat index like the Cayenne, Thai, and Rocoto. Which you might want to avoid all together if heat puts you in the fetal position.
- Then oh Lord, have you heard of the HABANERO PEPPER? Stay away. Just run. Don’t even look back.
- THEN, we have the GHOST PEPPER. Basically I turned into lava just typing out the word. It deserves its own photo, such is its power:
Let’s make some poppin’ chili!
Grab some chicken, jalapenos, beans, tomatoes, corn, broth, taco seasoning, bacon, cream cheese, shredded cheese, salsa, onion, garlic and cilantro!
Start by choppin’ up your aromatics. And then lining them up for a photograph. I’m just kidding.
Then get them sautéed up all nice and wonderful.
Then add the chicken and get it browned all over. Throw in that taco seasoning. The smells happening right now, laaaaaawd.
Then you’ll add the beans, corn, salsa, tomatoes, cilantro and broth! Bring it to a light simmer and cook it for about 30 minutes. Taste the broth. I mean have mercy.
While the soup simmers, render up some bacon slices, then chop them into crumbles. You might want to go ahead and taste a crumble or 40 to make sure you did it right.
Then add half a block of cream cheese and watch as it becomes a pot of creamy wonderland before your very eyes. NOW taste it. Duuuuuuudes.
I left the seeds in because to me, there’s just no other way to do it. Serve the creamy popper chili garnished with bacon, shredded cheese, cilantro and sliced fresh jalapeno!
Your life just got so good. And hawt.
So Hot: More Pepper Recipes
- Basil and Roasted Red Pepper Bites Recipe
- Quinoa with Peppers and Beans Recipe
- Crab and Pepper Jack Tostaditos Recipe